Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
