I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
