Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
