Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She told me I should be a condom model.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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