He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
