we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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