my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize