We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
