I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
