Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
