Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
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Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
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Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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