when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
In America we eat man semen.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize