So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
