you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
