Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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