I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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