You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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