You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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