I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
