I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
