She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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