soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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