I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize