I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
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You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
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