i always forget guys have bellybuttons
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize