hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
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I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
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She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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