that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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