im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
