For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
