Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
