Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
