New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
