Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
