Got a toothbrush?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
