Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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