I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
