I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize