Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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