I accidentally burped into my bong.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with youâ€
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