Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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