I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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