i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
The ass gains better be worth it
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