She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
