I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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