i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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