She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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