At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
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Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
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What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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