would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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