He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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