Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
My bed smells like the plague
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
