No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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