yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this must be what syphilis tastes like
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize