the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
My penis needs a shock collar
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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