He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
