I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
