Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
