Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
