Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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