Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
