Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
