so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize