dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
