piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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